Mel Ottenberg’s Grub Street Diet

Mel Ottenberg, stylist and editor-in-chief of Interview magazine, takes eating and merriment seriously. How could he not? Enjoying food with loved ones was a value instilled early on — his father was a fourth-generation owner at Ottenberg’s Bakery, their family business in Washington D.C., but now he’s trying (and occasionally failing) to keep a balanced diet while navigating his busy schedule. Ottenberg was formerly Rihanna’s longtime stylist and has worked with many other artists, including Chloë Sevigny and Troye Sivan. He started at Interview as creative director, and even now as EIC, he often styles cover shoots, including the recent one with Sabrina Carpenter. He’s never giving up on wanting to try new restaurants in the city, but for now, he’s at Citarella a lot. “Jewish carbs are in my blood,” Ottenberg says. “But I’m always fighting it because I don’t want to be a soft, middle-aged Jewish man either.” It’s a small rebuke, at least in his rule book. “The way I see it is that I like to eat really well unless I don’t feel like it,” he adds. “I’m always down to cheat.”

Monday, October 20
I wake up at 6:30, and I start things off with five strawberries and a cup of Citarella’s New York Blend coffee. Everybody has some fancy, cunt-y coffee setup, but I use a Cuisinart drip coffee maker. It’s the type of coffee maker my mom and stepfather have. I used to have a French press, but I never had a timer, so I’d leave it for 15 minutes and be like, “Whoops.” The Cuisinart is tried and true, and if it’s good enough for my mom, it’s good enough for me. And the coffee’s pretty good, especially now that the guy that I’m dating taught me how to actually measure coffee to water. I was eyeballing it before. I don’t know what was going on, but sometimes it was really, really bad and sometimes it was good. Now, just before turning 50, I’ve figured out how to do it. I have another cup at 6:45.

I have a 9 a.m. dermatologist appointment, and after that, I walk a little bit uptown to Three Guys, because I love Three Guys. There, I have another cup of coffee and an omelette with mushrooms, peppers, and onion with some turkey bacon. I don’t really like turkey bacon, but I am trying to mix it up. The survey says “no.” But I do love an omelette.

I head to the office, and I work until a 1:15 p.m. lunch date with the competition at Frenchette, where I have a quarter rotisserie chicken and a side salad. The other editor-in-chief and I have fun, and he pays.

I eat a lot of rotisserie chicken. I’ve always been into it because (a) it tastes good and (b) it’s instant. It’s everywhere, and it feels relatively healthy yet also satisfying. It’s a Whole30 staple, too. I’ve been doing Whole30 since August, but recently I had a brief relapse. I went to Basta Pasta and had some of everything, and the night after I had an impromptu romantic dinner date at Congee Village. I really do like working out and having major energy, but I also like to treat myself. I don’t think I’m that shrill about it. I’m a Taurus. Life’s too short to not enjoy it and have some bread sometimes.

After lunch, I go back to the office. There’s a new chain sensation called Nuts Factory that I sometimes order from, and around 4 p.m., I get unsalted almonds and way too many figs delivered to me. After eating too much of it, I share them with my team as we work. I need them to take it away from me.

At 5:45, after coming home, I snack on some rotisserie chicken from Citarella. Shout-out to Citarella rotisserie chicken for being really good — and right by me. I don’t know if there will be food at a birthday party I’m going to later, so I eat more rotisserie chicken and a Bubbies kosher dill pickle before leaving.

The party is at an apartment in Bushwick. It’s cute! I run into some people, and there is food, so I have two grilled chicken skewers.

Tuesday, October 21
I wake up and have black coffee around 7 a.m. In the mornings, I like to get the paper, read a couple of articles in the New York Times, and try to avoid social media. I also try to meditate sometimes but not very successfully. I like to move through the greatest hits of my coffee-mug collection, which is pretty good. Some of my mugs are humorous, some are glamorous, and some have sentimental value. I have a pair of sexy Putin mugs that I got in Moscow, which are standouts.

For breakfast, I head over to the Waverly Diner. Another black coffee with an omelette with peppers, mushrooms, and onions. On the side, I have avocado and bacon (this time, regular). Afterward, I go to the office and work through lunch.

At 2 p.m., I order a classic office meal from the Smile: a half rotisserie chicken, roasted potatoes, and kale. Later, I snack on three sticks of celery from Citarella with Once Again roasted chunky almond butter from the health-food store Lifetime, before seeing “A Conversation With Larry David” at the Beacon Theatre with a friend. We’re having dinner afterward, but my friend wants a snack before we go in. I get a small bag of very large grapes from a place across the street. They’re really good: firm and big in a futuristic way.

At the show, Larry David’s amazing. Even him just chatting about his career is a joy. And it’s an audience of people that love him, myself included. At one point, Larry mentions Cheryl Hines. Some people clap and then there’s a wave of murmurs through the room. A highlight of the night.

After the show, we have dinner at Dame. My friend and I share a spread: the grilled oysters with green chartreuse hollandaise, the squid and scallion skewers, poached leeks with gribiche and cantabrian anchovies, the grilled cabbage, white smoked mussels, and horseradish, and the kedgeree rice with curried crab. I have never been, and it’s pretty good.

I come home and end the night by starting Gosford Park while eating strawberries.

Wednesday, October 22
I start the morning at 7:30 with fruit and black coffee, as per usual, except that today, I use new coffee I bought at Lifetime. It’s bad, and I won’t be having it again — but I still have two cups. I also have raspberries from Citarella, an apple from the farmers’ market, and a bit of almond butter.

I work from home in the morning and have some Zooms and whatnot. At 11:15, I throw together three scrambled eggs with arugula, capers, salt and pepper, olive oil, and balsamic vinegar. I don’t have much in the refrigerator, and I just use what I have before going to the office.

At the office, I pick out a green apple from the Gourmet Garage nearby and peel it before eating. Three years ago, I felt really, really sick and kept being really sick. After being a huge apple eater my entire life, I had suddenly become allergic to apple peels. It is one of the weirdest things that has ever happened to me.

I have a night off tonight. I was planning to turn off my phone and watch a movie, but I end up working at home. Around 8:45, I order one of my favorite mellow meals, which is from Souen. There used to be three Souens, and now there’s only one. I get the Mel Ottenberg staple: Jappa soup, their three-mushrooms appetizer, and cold apple-lemon kukicha tea. It’s a white-fish soup with vegetables and broth that I find very comforting.

Later in the evening, I do end up watching a little more of Gosford Park and go to bed early so that I can be up to work out in the morning.

Thursday, October 23 
I have a cup of coffee and some raspberries before hopping over to the gym as planned. Afterward, I answer emails over a handful of blueberries and a lukewarm cup of coffee from that same pot as earlier.

At 9:15, I meet a friend who’s visiting town from London for breakfast at the Waverly Diner, and it’s nice to hang out before going to the office. I have three hard-boiled eggs with a side of bacon, extra crispy, and avocado. I season it with hot sauce and pepper and have two or three cups of coffee.

The workday is fun — we spend it looking at layouts, talking about social, and prepping for a dinner we’re hosting with Cartier later that night. At noon, I find a small bag of salted nuts in my jacket pocket that I bought during the Larry David show. I eat half the bag. An hour and a half later, I get my classic from the Smile again: a half rotisserie chicken with roasted potatoes and some cabbage-slaw salad with an unsweetened iced tea.
I’m home after work at 5:30. I don’t want to be hungry while hosting, so I have a green apple, peeled and sliced, with raspberries, blueberries, and smooth almond butter. I add cinnamon and a little vanilla extract to the almond butter for fun.

I make my way over to the Cartier dinner, which is at the Plaza Hotel at 9. There, I have the young kale salad, the short ribs — which are especially good — with mushroom risotto, and a piece of bread. I also have a sugarless Red Bull on ice.

On my way home after the dinner, I stop into the deli on my block and buy pretzel crisps. During my recent relapse from Whole30, I had pretzels, which were more incredible than all indulgent dinners combined. These are not the same. They suck, and I eat two-thirds of the bag.

Friday, October 24
I’m up at 7 a.m. despite the late night, and I have a banana and a cup of coffee. I do some work and then go to Cafe Cluny for breakfast. I haven’t been in a long time, but I’m meeting a friend from L.A. who used to live here and requested it. I get hard-boiled eggs, bacon, and avocado, and we have a big perfect catch-up.

I’m working from home, and at 12:30, I go to Eva’s on West 8th, which is like a Mexican restaurant for bodybuilders. I don’t go there often, but I really love it, and it feels like the right thing to do on a Friday. I get the Riviera salmon bowl, which is grilled salmon, mixed vegetables, and brown rice. Afterward, I stop by the office to check in on some things. I’m there long enough to snack on some strawberries; soon after, I head back home for a peeled apple and a jog.

In the evening, my date and I make two half-pound pieces of salmon in the oven, along with a big salad. I love a big salad. My ideal salad at home is an arugula mix from the farmers’ market, cucumbers, carrots, mushrooms, and apples, since we’re in season, all with a simple vinaigrette. That, to me, is the dream. I also love the insalata verde at Via Carota. That salad paired with the svizzerina is the most Mel Ottenberg meal in the world. Tonight’s salad combines all of the available vegetables in the apartment: peppers, cucumbers, carrots, red onion, and also apples. The dressing is olive oil, white-wine vinegar, and mustard.

It’s a simple meal, which I need. I didn’t know it then, but the next day will end up being unexpectedly taxing. I’ll break and order shitty Chinese food — kung pao chicken, moo shu pork, hot-and-sour soup with a scallion pancake, and duck sauce — with a friend, and it will be comforting and perfect. If we’re not doing drugs or drinking alcohol anymore, we’re eating Chinese food.