The advice addressed how to handle political provocation from customers. | Photo: Shutterstock
The election is over, but that doesn’t mean the strife it kicked up has evaporated. Lingering hostility toward the other side—be it winner or loser—is stoking tension in some dining rooms and kitchens, with groups like the National Restaurant Association fielding calls from operators looking for advice on keeping the peace between stirred-up members of the blue and red teams, be they employees or guests.
The association’s Multicultural Foodservice & Hospitality Alliance (MF&HA), a group dedicated to fostering acceptance and opportunity for everyone working in the highly diverse restaurant business, had anticipated the nation’s second largest employer would feel the strain. It convened a webinar two days post-election to provide restaurateurs with practical tips for defusing potentially explosive situations.
A noted expert in building bridges across political divisions, Bill Doherty of Braver Angels, was brought in to provide the guidance. His group is devoted to pulling together Americans who’ve been polarized by what it calls toxic politics.
Here’s some of the advice Doherty provided.
Don’t get sucked into the debate
“If you’re going to intervene between two people who are getting worked up, remain calm yourself,” advised Doherty. “Don’t raise your voice. Say something affirming to both people. ‘You two are both good workers. Happy to have you both, so let’s just work together.’”
The worst thing to do is weigh in on one side. “The big problem comes when somebody is trying to convince others they’re working with to come around to their own beliefs,” Doherty said. Let the opposing views coexist. “Don’t come across as, ‘You’re an idiot if you don’t agree with me.’”
Similarly, even if a party’s argument is based on misinformation, don’t refute it. Instead, add your take while letting theirs stand. “You can say, with modesty, ‘I’m not an expert on this, but this is what I’ve heard,’” Doherty advised. “The tone isn’t, ‘I’m smarter than you.’”
Redirection is smart
If a political conversation between employees sounds as if it’s about to get heated, change the topic. “If they’re both sports fans, you can always shift it to sports,” recommended Doherty. “Anticipate what’s going to happen and then head it off. They need a distraction.”
Or, he continued, “You could try some humor. ‘Hey, you two sound just like the presidential debate. We should put you on camera.’ Or, ‘You two are well matched. We should put you in the wrestling ring.’”
Encourage selective hearing
Along the same lines, if someone should say something that’s provocative just to get a rise out of nearby listeners, don’t acknowledge it. Encourage employees not to get hooked by something a customer utters by training them to selectively feign unawareness. Management should advise them, “Just close your ears,” said Doherty. “It takes two people to escalate an argument.”
The tactic can also be used if a customer is sporting a T-shirt or other article of clothing emblazoned with a provocative political message. The wearer is trying to get a rise out of onlookers. Don’t oblige them.
If you can’t resist airing your position…
Politics has become a more personal and important issue to Americans, a bigger factor in defining who they are, according to Doherty. He cited a finding that more than 50% of the public views elections as events that directly affect their lives, as opposed to the 25% who said the same in the 1990s.
Given that importance, even the coolest-headed manager can struggle to keep political convictions to themselves. “If you find yourself really passionate about something, say something like, ‘I know not everyone agrees with me,’” advised Doherty. “A little signal, a little tip like that, takes the edge off it. If you’re going to express an opinion, don’t portray a person as an idiot if they don’t agree.”
The session with Doherty was moderated by MF&HA Vice President and leader Erika Carr.
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